A Case for Becoming More Gentle in Your Life

A Case for Becoming More Gentle in Your Life

If 2020 has taught me anything—and God help us all if it hasn’t imprinted a laundry list of lessons onto our nervous systems—it’s a sense of impermanence. Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip to Montana—car ride snacks, an isolated wood cabin in the Crazy Mountains, days to do nothing but be together—and by Friday my future of promises and plans with my partner was gone. Most importantly though, the concept of life itself is proving itself, now more than...

When Father’s Day is Different for You

When Father’s Day is Different for You

It’s hard to find the right words to explain a day of public celebration and personal dread. (If Hallmark knew them, we could purchase them from tiered displays with labels like “Daddy Issues.”) What do you do on holidays when holidays are hard? When your relationship with your dad isn’t what you hoped, what do you do on Father’s Day? Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip to Montana—car ride snacks, an isolated wood cabin in the Crazy Mountains, days...

10 Reasons You Need Us Introverts

Let’s face it: Recess, the lunch room, the school bus, class discussions, and (God, help us) group projects are dominated by extroverts, and we introverts have always had to work a little harder to stay in the game. (Even when it’s not a game we particularly care to be in.) Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip to Montana—car ride snacks, an isolated wood cabin in the Crazy Mountains, days to do nothing but be together—and by Friday my future...

Marriage Is Too Important to Take It Too Seriously

Marriage Is Too Important to Take It Too Seriously

Obviously, my intent was to give couples way more than a book. I’d neatly tuck a $50 check between the chapters “Is Conflict Avoidance Dysfunctional?” and “Recommendations for a Stable Marriage,” and attach a thoughtfully written, mostly-not-trite card about how happy marriage will be a daily choice (it is, btw), how they will need to work tirelessly at sustaining something even remotely resembling their current level of happiness (also true, btw). I’d even encourage them to take the book on their honeymoon. For real. Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine,...

5 Simple Ways to Remind People That You Love Them

5 Simple Ways to Remind People That You Love Them

Let’s talk about love. Not Kardashian-level Kenny G and rose petals love. (If you can even call that the “l” word.) Here we’re breaking down five ultra-simple ways to remind your best people that they’re, well, the best. No big gestures, no big spending necessary. Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip to Montana—car ride snacks, an isolated wood cabin in the Crazy Mountains, days to do nothing but be together—and by Friday my future of promises and plans with...

3 Things I Know About Making Peace with Your Past

3 Things I Know About Making Peace with Your Past

I’ve spent years holding onto narratives about myself—the things I’ve done, the person I’ve been, and the people who I’ve shared my life with. I’ve obsessed about how things have unfolded. There are nights where I can’t stop thinking about every little interaction from the day prior. Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip to Montana—car ride snacks, an isolated wood cabin in the Crazy Mountains, days to do nothing but be together—and by Friday my future of promises and...

Forgive Yourself for Not Being Perfect. Then Do It Again Tomorrow.

Given the state of everything in the world right now, there are really only two things I’m certain of anymore: I will never have a tampon in my purse when I need one, and I am relentless about making myself feel like shit. I would just like to brag for one second. I am excellent at constantly remembering everything I’m bad at and nothing I’m good at.   (Does it sound like I’m fishing for compliments? Good, I am. Email them to me.) I am a huge fan at getting stuck in self-wallowing quicksand because thankfully, bless its little heart,...

Why Decorating Your Home Is Good for Your Mental Health

Why Decorating Your Home Is Good for Your Mental Health

When I can’t control my worries with meditation or a good SSRI (praise be), I will indulge in a night of rage cleaning—wherein I feverishly tidy every corner of my home hoping to uncover some sort of calm and peace. Sometimes I feel better. Sometimes I feel worse. It’s almost always a sign I’m not managing my stress levels. And now that I’m talking about rage cleaning, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Entire industries can implode. Two of them I worked in did. So can relationships. In mine, on a Tuesday we were planning details for a road trip...

How to Clean Your Emotional House

How to Clean Your Emotional House

BURN! BURN! BURN! FEEL THE FIRE INSIDE OF YOU! DO YOU FEEL IT? It was a Tuesday. And I was crying in yoga again. Shaking and sweating in extended side angle pose. My hands were pressed against each other and close to my heart. My eyes were closed and they trembled with determination. I was there, in a room with fifty strangers, breathing through my nose and out my mouth. I was completely still. I could feel every limb on my body, even my middle toe, which I hadn’t noticed in quite some time. And my insides felt like they...